Category: USA News
Latest USA News
South Dakota Unveils New ‘Come Die Here’ Tourism Campaign
PIERRE, SD—In an effort to attract visitors to a state that is home to some of the worst Covid-19 infection rates in the world, South…
Introduction Of Giancarlo Esposito Suggests Main Character Now Totally Fucked
FONTANA, CA—In a momentous twist sources confirmed could only mean one thing, the introduction of Giancarlo Esposito into the television show Jared Brenot was viewing…
Alternate Price Of Book In Canadian Dollars Gives Man Little Window Into What Life Would Be Like If He Were Canadian
DETROIT—Offering the U.S. citizen a brief opportunity to vicariously experience a different nationality, the Canadian price printed on the back cover of a book gave…
Satan Offering Black Friday Deal To Trade Only 50% Of Soul For Lifetime Of Riches
NINTH CIRCLE, HELL—Claiming that untold wealth could be yours for the “low, low price of half your immortal essence,” Satan, the Great Tempter and Prince…
Annoying Coworker Keeps Sending After-Hours Emails That He’s Trapped In Office Elevator
SPARKS, MD—Growing increasingly irked by the inconsiderate behavior, employees at local advertising firm Valley Media were reportedly annoyed Friday that their coworker, Josh Goldberg, kept…
Pervert Gets 10 Yards Taken Off Of His Restraining Order For Good Behavior
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Nation’s Relatives Call For Little Zoom Tour Of Your Apartment
CARROLLTON, TX—Declaring “Ooh, yes” and “Let’s see,” the nation’s relatives reportedly called for a little Zoom tour of your apartment Thursday. “What fun, we’ve never…
