Category: USA News
Latest USA News
Cafe Patron Makes Humiliating Pass Through Lineup Of Empty Milk Carafes
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Mark Zuckerberg Delivers Free Speech Manifesto
As his platform draws criticism for spreading false information and extremism, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg delivered a free speech-based speech via Facebook Live that he…
RoseArt Recalls Colored Pencils After Hundreds Of Kids Sucked Into Magical Drawing World
LIVINGSTON, NJ—Warning parents about the dangers of a powerful imagination, RoseArt announced Thursday a recall of all colored pencils after hundreds of children were sucked…
Aggressive Flagellate Just Going Around Whipping Other Single-Celled Organisms
BOCA RATON, FL—Succumbing to its inherent lash-based nature by releasing its hostility on innocent microorganisms, an aggressive flagellate was observed just going around its shared…
Solemn Jeff Bezos Realizes He Could End Up Like Homeless Man If Just Few Hundred Thousand Things Go Wrong
SEATTLE—Beginning to accept just how close to financial hardship he truly was, a solemn Jeff Bezos realized Thursday that he could end up like a…
Resistance Democrats Cheer Nancy Pelosi After Viral Photo Surfaces Of Her Sitting Quietly And Deferring To Room Of Corporate Lobbyists
WASHINGTON—Erupting in praise after the House Speaker set the image as her Twitter account’s header photo, resistance Democrats cheered Nancy Pelosi online Thursday after a…
Man Starting To Think Addams Family Not Like Other Families
MIAMI—Watching carefully as the early scenes introduced each member of the household, local moviegoer Scott Piebenga reported Thursday that he was beginning to suspect the…
John Bolton Called Trump Ukraine Deal A ‘Drug Deal’
Former national security adviser John Bolton was disturbed by President Trump’s efforts to start a Ukrainian investigation into his political opponents, calling it a “drug…
Man Can’t Look At Angel Flying Down From Heaven To Save Drowning Child And Not Feel Like There Must Be Some Higher Power Out There
SAINT IGNACE, MI—As a divine chorus pealed forth in joy and triumph from the sky above the lake, contractor Charles Taylor admitted that he could…