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Cade Cunningham Unmotivated After Zero Teams Pass On Him In NBA Draft

BROOKLYN—Shrugging and deciding it would be nice to get some ice cream right now instead of vowing to destroy rival players, former Oklahoma State point…

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Kings Concerned About Character Issues After Multiple Prospects Lie About Being Excited To Play For Sacramento

SACRAMENTO, CA—Scrambling to bring in more players for workouts, Kings scouts reportedly expressed concern Thursday about character issues among the 2021 NBA Draft class after…

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Bored Vaccination Worker Spends Afternoon With No Patients Stabbing Syringe Between Fingers

HUNTSVILLE, AL—In an effort to make it through a long day with nothing to do, bored vaccination worker Ray Gately told reporters Thursday he had…

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MTV Turns 40

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Olympians Explain How They Trained During The Pandemic

With the Tokyo Summer games postponed an entire year due to Covid-19, athletes had no choice but to find new and creative ways to stay…

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‘Jungle Cruise’ Hailed As Thrilling Reminder To Cancel Disney+

NEW YORK—Saying the film “couldn’t have been released at a better time,” critics reportedly hailed Jungle Cruise Thursday as a thrilling reminder to cancel Disney+….

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China Building New Silos For Nuclear Missiles

New satellite images indicate that China is digging a field of missile silos 1,200 miles west of Beijing, signifying a potentially vast expansion of the…

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Phillip Morris Launches High-Performance Sport Cigarette For Abusive Olympic Parents

NEW YORK—Touting the inhalant as the first of its kind to give the parents of athletes the extra push they need, Phillip Morris unveiled a…

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Kevin Durant Forms Burner Country To Compete In Tokyo Olympics

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Only Half Of American Households Donate To Charity

For the first time in nearly two decades, only half of U.S. households donated to charity, confirming a long-running trend where donations are reaching record…

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