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Prehistoric Monument Discovered Near Stonehenge

Archaeologists have discovered a ring of 20 pits each measuring 33 feet wide and 16 feet deep just a few miles from Stonehenge, which they…

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Your Horoscopes — Week Of July 7, 2020

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Fox Criticized For Cropping Epstein Party Photo To Remove Killer Buffet Spread

NEW YORK—Following the broadcast of a doctored photograph featuring the financier and convicted sex offender, Fox News received widespread criticism Tuesday for cropping a picture…

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Effects Of The Nationwide Protests Against Police Brutality

Since a police officer killed Black man George Floyd on May 25, mass protests have continued across the country and inspired a variety of changes…

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Tell-All Book By Donald Trump’s Niece To Be Released Early

After a judge lifted the restraining order prohibiting distribution of the book, Simon & Schuster announced they will bump up the release date of Mary…

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Freshman Who Would Have Fallen Through Dorm Window First Weekend Sad To Miss Out On College Experience

TYLER, TX—Lamenting the school’s decision to move classes online to combat the spread of Covid-19, incoming Texas College freshman Latrell Ryan, who would have fallen…

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Bus Stop Ad Just Offering $500 For Fresh Humans

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Dumbass Dog Wearing Face Mask All Wrong

OLATHE, KS—Expressing frustration over the way the canine was recklessly endangering the health of everyone around him, customers at a local PetSmart told reporters Tuesday…

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Fly Thinks Back Fondly On Time It Got To Perch On Popsicle Stick For Few Seconds

SOUTH HADLEY, MA—Recalling the joyful experience from its youth, a local fly reportedly reminisced Tuesday about the time it had gotten to perch on a…

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Consulting Firm Recommends Keeping Consulting Firm On For 6 More Months

ASHEVILLE, NC—In a lengthy report laying out recommendations it described as absolutely essential to its client’s future success, consulting firm Hewitt Lord Advisors suggested Tuesday…

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