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Mom With Arms Full Of Groceries Holds Baby By Scruff Of Neck With Mouth

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George Zimmerman Sues Buttigieg, Warren

George Zimmerman, whose acquittal for shooting and killing Trayvon Martin sparked national debate, is suing Pete Buttigieg and Elizabeth Warren for defamation, claiming their tributes…

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Highlights Of The Nevada Democratic Debate

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Bloomberg Housekeepers Brace For Another Day Of Dressing Up Like DNC Candidates And Letting Boss Beat Them In Debate

NEW YORK—Standing behind podiums scattered around the living room, Mike Bloomberg’s housekeepers braced for another day of dressing up like DNC candidates and letting their…

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God In Critical Condition

The Lord God, Maker of Heaven and Earth, was rushed into emergency surgery after accidentally shooting Himself while cleaning His gun. Hear what doctors have…

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Coral Reefs Could Disappear Within Next 80 Years

Researchers at the University of Hawaii predict that 90% of the world’s coral reefs could die in the next 20 years and that reefs could…

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Recently Concussed Americans March On Washington D.C. Demanding The Right To Sleep

WASHINGTON—Meandering through the National Mall as they forgot where they were headed, thousands of recently concussed Americans marched on Washington D.C. Thursday demanding the right…

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Biden Begging Donors To Stop Sending Money So He Can Quit Race

WASHINGTON—Imploring his supporters to relieve him of his obligations on the campaign trail, former vice president and current presidential candidate Joe Biden reportedly begged his…

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‘Four Quarts Make A Gallon. The Frontal Lobe Controls Decision Making. The Ottoman Empire Dissolved In 1922,” Says Amy Klobuchar, Continuing To Name Trivia Facts Hours After Debate Ends

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How To Handle Texting Anxiety

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